paradise

Yes, we are living in a sort of paradise right now, equally positioned between Àn Bang, a beautiful beach boasting gorgeous sunrises AND sunsets, and the UNESCO world heritage ancient town of Hội An. Both places stunning on their own.

Paradise always has a few minor hidden detractors, right?

Like NEVER put shoes on without a quick shake-out. Thankfully we’re already trained to do this from living in the Pacific NW. Spiders seem to love hiding in shoes. Here, little frogs accidentally hop in as soon as the sun sets.

Plus that time I found a nest of baby mice in my work boots…

Shoe checking is just common sense, yes?

Lately, though, it’s ants. Little teeny-weeny tiny ants.

Not a new thing, we’ve had them everywhere we have ever lived. There is an enormous number of ant species inhabiting South East Asia.

I thought we had forged an understanding with our local ants. We won’t leave food or garbage temptations inside the house and we’ll put everything in tight-lidded glass jars or in the fridge. In return, we’ll gently sweep you outside to a healthier environment if we see you inside.

But they are tricksters.

This morning we were engrossed in our morning ritual of pouring the hot water over the coffee filter, happily watching the grounds bloom. Wait. Little dots come scrambling up the inside of the paper. What? How did you guys get there? Then I realized I didn’t put the paper cones into anything different than their cardboard box. Paper isn’t food, dudes.

And the reason I have a water bottle at my bedside table WITH A LID is because, well….one night I picked up my glass of water for a mid-night drink and whoa, did it taste funny…AND it had a texture. I should not have turned on a light but I did. Pool party! I’m sure my stomach acids did their thing for the population that went that direction before I stopped my swallowing.

Note to the curious. They tasted a bit like almond extract. I LOVE that flavor almost more than anything, but I’m fine not repeating this event.

Then yesterday I was sliding open the curtains and plop. Something smallish but weighty thudded onto my forearm. Any guesses? Mr. Gecko. Geckos don’t bite, they eat mosquitos and bugs and the only existing downside to our mutual existence here in this house is that their poop falls onto everything as they nocturnally navigate the ceiling beams. (You should see the top of my laptop.) I was overtaken by an adrenaline rush so I yelled a little something and flung my arm and sent Mr. Gecko on a jet cruise, sailing across the room. Luckily, he had a soft-blanket landing.

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Later last night I was quietly sitting, reading on my ipad in the semi-darkness. Low lights attract less night-fliers, right? Something lightly landed on my arm in the exact spot where the gecko had alit. No adrenaline this time, so I had time to take a stab at identification. Too dark to see, then…blink blink…blink blink. It was a firefly! Magical little beetles. Then fleetingly wondered if they bit and decided I didn’t want to find out, so walked outside and [delicately this time] arm-flung once again.

Last week I walked up to the front of my white house, and was drawn to something new that stood out against the white.

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Aliens guarding their mother ship. What are they? They stayed in place 3 days, not moving at all unless prodded. One night they suddenly all departed, leaving their pod nursery. Or eggs. Which are still there, unaltered.

As I’m writing this and looking out the door, I watch this beauty scurry up a pole and proceed to sun itself on the trellis. Including the tail it is 18 inches long. The toes on the hind feet are each 1-inch long.

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Just a sample of the interesting array of critters that randomly scurry or fly by. I’ve left out many others. Oops. Went to fry some bánh chưng for a snack and a small jumping spider accidentally committed suicide in the pan oil.

Glad I spotted it, although it would’ve just been protein, right? Their venom only hurts their prey, not harmful to humans. Even if ingested?

Cool.

Unless you’re about to visit us, then DISREGARD EVERTYHING I JUST SAID.